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Desire to go Higher

A life of service to something higher is karmically a life of service to self. This is a very powerful thing. For within following the guidance of your gut feeling, which is your compass to stay on the path of least resistance and manifest your truest life purpose, you shall also find infinite love for yourself. All that you are has been hidden from you and bogged down by lesser than programming, and a lack mentality. Poison. Within following all that you are, you shall see that you are SO so loved. Loved bigger than mars, love bigger than the stars. In fact, infinite love is ALL that we are. This, for a developed world is very hard to come to terms with for most. I’ve ended friendships that have been complete blessings to me because the level of love they shared towards me was so uncomfortable to my darkness. This is fear in plane sight. I have since made a pact with myself to right all of the wrongs in my life that deal with a heaviness on my heart. I found that each thing I released, I felt lighter and lighter and lighter to the point where I do feel as though I glide through life rather than crawl. However, I have noticed that there is QUITE a transition process. When you intentionally shift the frequency of thoughts that you think of yourself to make them more full of love and thus a higher vibration, your world will begin to change INDEFINITELY! This transition can be easy or difficult depending on the energy you give to it. Begin to have more loving thoughts and your atmosphere will reflect! You will notice more loving people and places will enter your life as well as a result of your self work to love yourself more. This my friends was a difficult transition for me. All of this sudden I saw that I was much more than skateboarding when I was knocked unconscious and had a 45 second seizure while I was not wearing my helmet. I woke up in my own pool of blood surrounded by people. I jokingly said “I guess I didn’t land that trick” and although they laughed, they reminded me not to joke and brought my awareness to all of the blood. I was not wearing my helmet. Truthfully out of the 19 years of skateboarding, this was the moment that actually brought me to wear a helmet and pads. It was an extremely awakening experience for me, not only did I have 12 staples put into my head, I also had 10 days of doing absolutely NOTHING. No stimulation what so ever, no phone, no music, no computer no tv. Within the silence I noticed a realm I had been living too fast to notice. I distinctly remembering a voice, one that said “now that we finally have your attention, we have some things to tell you”. This voice was very eloquent, very soft spoken, almost like the after affect of a whisper for it seemed to register in my mind and “pop in”. I also noticed it was very warm, the feeling was simply love behind it. Now, I always thought I was going to die skateboarding doing a back side air much younger than I was supposed to. This voice had a different plan. Within the stillness, I found relinquishment. I found relinquishment of all of the different expectations I had so strictly enslaved myself to. So harshly whipped myself for mentally when I didn’t meet them, and so angrily thought lesser than myself regularly. It felt good to have no responsibility other than the doctors orders “to just be”. It felt good to be free of all the burdens my mind had racked myself with. To no longer have to feel like I “needed” to post new things on social media. It was such clarity. Within the silence, I realized I had more to bring to this world than just skateboarding. My life was trying to tell me that my energy was needed elsewhere to best help the world off my board, and I didn’t listen and blew through all of the warning signs! I literally had to almost die for me to finally listen. Now I’m on a mission to honor this guidance AS it comes rather than let it pass for I know to follow it, will only avoid extreme hurt. Within the calm, I found peace. A wholeness that was unfamiliar to me. For I had adhered to the same lack my parents knew and the same not being good enough that they knew. In this moment I had combated that successfully. Instead of my regular thinking of “ once I get there I’ll be happy, or I just need to do this then I’ll be happy”. DANGEROUS thinking my friends, for this type of thinking would make my happiness separate from me, like it was on the other side of the field with the greener grass. All I had to do was water my own grass to find contentment. Love myself, and rewrite my minds programming. I could be fulfilled just by existing. And crazily enough just by being I realized I already AM enough. So I watched what I let program my minds garden. I realized my minds a sponge and whatever I put in front of it, it would soak up and make those manifest in my life. So I filtered and screened what entered my mind. Because of this small decision, my entire life changed. I noticed that the people I m once hung around with perfect synergy, had now become toxic to my new found peace. The places that I was so familiar with became not uncomfortable, but there was an increased presence of a deeper place for me to go, and my entire body knew it within my bones. This transition is different, but it doesn’t have to be scary or fearful. The reality of this life on earth is that change is indeed our only constant. So I forced myself to be okay with discomfort thus I am never uncomfortable. Always in the flow means no attachment to form, like a river constantly changing to fit its new terrain. I flowed like the river Jordan. This flow brought me to the right people in the most magical ways that brought the healing my soul needed. Was it easy, sometimes, was it testing to my ego...extremely. I had been praying that an enlightened master come into my path, and one did. Her name was ironically angel and we very much short circuited each other. Our connection was like instant family, but she lived a much more truer version of the human being than I had ever seen before. One that enraged my ego for it knew it’s days were numbered. She constantly showed me my weaknesses and my outdated ways of thinking only in a box. This was HARD. This was TESTING. This was GROWTH.. I felt like an elephant on a tight wire, trying to find balance. Things were brought to my attention that made me think “gosh that too?!” And “man really, that type of thinking was a lie as well?”. It showed me the truth in the life society programs us to live. I felt like I’d been lied to, and this made me angry, thus taking away my peace in that moment. Despite the lies we are programmed with to not be good enough, to need certain materials to embody stature and thus success, and to need someone else to fill you up to know love......all of it was a story. A fabricated story to keep us out of our power and supporting a world that pitted us against each other in order to never see the actual few puppeteers that control the globe. I realized to fight back is to live in my truth, to embody the actual love that I am, and to be enough in this beautiful present moment. Within reprogramming my mind to see the many beauties in simplicity’s I realized that the magic was all around me this entire time!! I am loved as the universe is BIG, ever expanding and infinite Now, I still have desires that are not suited to my highest good, for within cultivating my spiritual muscles of intuition, as well as changing my perception from mind to heart, I have gotten out of thinking and stepped into knowing and certainty at heart. Taking the question out of life when you realize that you ARE all the wisdom, love and fulfillment you seek. Living in your truth is completing the blueprint of your life you mapped out before you came here! Or theoretically checking off the checklist of things your heart came here to learn! I live in love. And follow my guidance again and again for I have BEEN A SCIENTIST, tested it for MYSELF. Put faith in the unknown and found absolute clarity beyond my fears. The higher powers I serve help my dreams come true, my heart stay full and give me guidance on every situation IN REAL TIME to best bless others or navigate my safety. It feels kind CHEATING but it’s NOT. It’s simply the reality of who we are when we let ourselves make the transition from sleeping and enslaved to illuminated and thus awake . Now I am still human so there are times that I’m being guided to not do something that before I would be all about so fast and effortlessly. I’ve constantly had to re-humble myself and reevaluate if I’m following my heart as the guidance comes. It’s SO much easier to make changes when it’s a choice and not when it’s forced after you’ve missed many signs (I.e. my skateboarding accident above). Something happened this week that was upsetting to me indeed. I got the guidance that both I and ‘‘tis beautiful soul had been brought together for different reasons than we thought and practiced. It was one of the hardest things in my life to follow the guidance that our connection was to be shared in a different format. It almost felt unfair on both ends, but each time I meditate on it, I see both of us avoiding pitfalls by following this new format. To follow the call of spirit as it comes is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done, many of my dreams have come to life because of it, in truly wonderful ways. On this one, although my heart hurts about it, I know I’m avoiding more hurt for the both of us in the future. By allowing us to be the blessing we are meant to be for each other and letting us both continue our path of self love. Ugh. Sometime I wish I essentially wasn’t so faith bound, but after I get really hurt from not following my hearts guidance, I always seem to stop and think “shit, I know I could have avoided this”. So I gratefully accept this wisdom for I stay in the understanding that I only have a small portion of the bigger picture. I find it smart to trust those that have a balcony view of the maze as I let them guide me through it from above. With infinite love & light, The universe through Jordan

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